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Sleep.

Image by a treeless mountain.
“Dandelions. I love dandelions in the morning,” he says.
The statement is made in passing as we walk down an alley. But at five in the morning, it manages to be both whimsical and profound. He stops and picks one of the flowers off its stem, “What a cruel thing to do, but it must be done”, and holds it close to his face for a second before stuffing into his coat pocket. It’s at this point, I realize it’s going to be a typical morning. He’s in one of his moods. On cue, he starts singing, “Just one of ‘em days…don’t take it personal.”
Monica. I should have known.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m absolutely fine. You know what I need now?” He stops walking and puts both hands on top of my shoulders, “Look into my eyes so that you will know how incredibly sincere I am right now.” He takes off his glasses and stares directly into my face. I’m scared he might kiss me with this incredible amount of sincerity.
“What? W-h-a-t!? I say.
“Cool Ranch Doritoes. The blue ones. I haven’t had them in so long. You’d think that in a country that the fry is named after, they would have some decent chips. One month to go! Just one month!” he says. He peels his eyes off my face and puts his glasses back on.
“I completely agree,” I say. I exhale now that the suspense is over. I realized I was holding my breath the entire time.
He sighs and lets his arms fall free. He hangs his head. I reach out and hold him. “There there. It’ll be okay.” He puts his hands back into his pockets and we’re on our way again.
“I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I know.”
He is lucid. I look at his face and he appears that way at least. Besides going to bed at four in the morning for the past few days, there hasn’t been too many complications. We’ve managed to avoid drinking besides occasional wine and beer at dinner and we’ve also managed to avoid cigarettes. We’re on a morning walk.
The walks are good for us because the house is crowded all the time and we can barely sleep. We have the spare room downstairs though bed is much too small for two adults. The kids wake up even early to get ready for school. They cause a ruckus every time.
Our plan is to go for walks in the morning, then come back home to sleep some more.
There is a cafe down the street. It’s a shabby one but at the very least, it’s open. There are only a few chairs and tables. Most of the people are there are blue collared and are on their way to work. They hang around the bar counter, reading the paper and smoking Galuoises. And being themselves. Being French.
I know that he is sick of cafes. “Fucking shit! Every time I write now, the only thing the characters do is sit in cafe or have meals together. If my editor is not sick of me yet, than I am,” he told me one night while we were sitting in cafe together trying to write. I reached over and put my hand over his hand. He looked up from his notebook. “Do you want to watch a movie at the cinema instead?” I ask.
“Thank god,” he says. He looks incredibly sincere again. More sincere than the day he shouted from the top of the Arc de Triomphe down over the Champ Elysses, “I love you Anita! Je taime mon amour!”
We find a sit by the window. He goes over to the bartender and brings back two croissants, two noisettes and a glass of water. It’s not a bad way to start the morning. It’s better than Denny’s.
“What are you thinking?” I say.
He’s looking out the window as he tends to do when we sit down across from each other but aren’t talking.
“I’m thinking how Ernest Hemingway and his wife must’ve felt when they came to Paris.”
“Deep thoughts indeed.”
“Your sarcasm. Go ahead, laugh at me.”
“I’m not mocking you. I mean it. Deep thoughts indeed.”
“Do you want a shot of Jameson. Let’s have shots of Jameson.”
“Sure.”
He gets up and brings back two shots of Jameson. “Cheers. To Ernest fuckin’ Hemingway!”
We make our way back from the cafe, down through the same alleyway with the dandelions. The grass is not as slick now because the sun is up and the dew has evaporated. The air in the suburb is nice. It’s clean. You can breath without missing a beat. In other places, places that we’re use to, you have to be aware of breathing or you might find yourself out of breath eventually. But not here.
When we get home, everyone is gone: the children, his brother in law, and his sister. We open all the windows downstairs and leave the door open to the bedroom. It’s a nice feeling and the breeze smells like pine woods. He takes off my jacket and hangs it on the rack. He then takes his his off and puts it next to mine along with his baseball cap.
“I just feel so random at this time in the morning. Say stupid shit without caring. You know?”
“I know. Always.”
“Good. I’m glad we have a mutual understanding on this.”
I am about to close my eyes to sleep when I feel him get up. “Wait. I forgot something.”
He goes to the coat rack and comes back with his hand closed in a hollow fist. “Open your eyes,” he says.
“What?”
He opens his hand and shows me the dandelion. “Happy Anniversary! Make a wish.”
I blow the dandelion off his palm and wish for sleep.
“Good. Don’t tell me. I’m sure it’s going to happen soon."
Hotel Villa Vera Casa Julio Pool

Image by hmerinomx
The pool at Casa Julio is great for keeping the kids active, while the grown ups relax on the terrace!
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