The state is taking my ex-hub to court for child support?
Question by tammie h: The state is taking my ex-hub to court for child support?
In 2 weeks I have to appear in court for the State against my ex hub for lack of paying child support. I need to know how others feel, if I have a right to the support or not. Here is the situation: My ex and I were married 17 years. We have 4 beautiful kids. In the divorce settlement, I gave him everything. I just wanted out.. I gave up my childcare business ( I couldnt keep it –license does not travel with you,and anyway I moved into an apartment-kinda hard to take 16 kids with you lol)He got the house, the 4 snowmobiles, 2 boats, his car he was restoring, his business I helped him build, most of our household goods-furniture–including lots brand new, I took my china huth, a few home interior pics, and the vaccume. I bought my own dishes and towels ect. He wouldn’t even let me take the kid’s beds they got for Christmas. When we first divorced, 2 kids stayed with him and 2 with me. He got a lawyer, i didnt get one. He decided the child support. I didn’t contest anything-
I didn’t contest anything. In the divorce papers he was to pay child support and reimburse me for health insurance. He payed for the child support for 2 years, and only paid for the child support for about 5 months. Over the last 5 years, the kids have gone from his house to mine, at one point I had all 4 with me. 2 of our kids have graduated and moved out on their own. We have a 16 and 12 yr old left. Until about 2 months ago, my 12 yr old was with me and 16 with him. Now I have both girls. The 16 yr old was allowed to run free with no rules, all the $ she could ask for ect, but no love, finally she decided she would rather live with me, where there is rules, little $ , but lots of love. In Janurary of this year my ex decided that since he had my 16 yr old for 2 yrs, that he paid all he needed to pay in child support since he was paying for 2 kids and 1 of which was living with him. HOWEVER- I have not made him pay the Health insurance for the last 5 years, so I had no prob
So I had no proble letting him pay-the Insurance amount is just about the differance in child support from 1 to 2 kids. He quit paying his child support over 9 months ago. Has not paid insurance in over 3 years, has not bought the kids birthday or x-mas gifts the last 3 years, has not helped with school clothes, sports fees, school pics ect. He feels since I have a live in boyfriend now (he also has a live in gf–and they have a baby together) that he no longer has to pay anything. I am going to show up when he goes to court, and try to make sure they throw the bookat him. I have been more then fair the last 5 years,but am now sooo tired of the deadbeat. Am I wrong to want to see him pay?
To Bob D– Sorry to burst your bubble Charlie–there was no other man. I got out of a very abusive relationship. I wanted all my children with me, but 2 of them made the desicion to stay with their dad against my wishes. He had promised them cars and whatever else they wanted–they were 15 & 16 at the time. they lived with him as long as they could take it, and eventually made it back to me where I had the honor of trying to correct the damage their father did to them–which I did with a full heart–all I ever wanted was my family. I did not meet a man as you suggested until 3 years after my divorce was final. so put that in your pipe and smoke away.
Best answer:
Answer by switchmistress
take what the state makes him pay………
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How old are the kids?
If there still in education then of course your entitled to support no question.
Good luck
Why not you deserve more than that so you can get back on your feet.
Your children deserve to have that support! He ended up with everything and you got the short end of the stick… Get as much as you can……
Sounds to me like he came out a head on this divorce….Take whatever the state says he should pay.
GOOD MUST HELP WITH THE OTHER TWO
MY EX PAID ME 150. A MONTH FOR ONE CHILD AND FOR 6 YEARS I LET HIM PAY THAT UNTIL HIS LIFE STYLE CHANGE..SO I WENT TO THE STATE AND ASK OF A SMALL INCREASE AND GUESS WHAT STATE INCREASED IT 9 TIMES THE AMOUNT …I WAS BLOWN AWAY…NOW THAT’S GREAT BUT ON PAPER IS DIFFERENT CUZ NOW IT’S GETTING HIM TO PAY…YES HE DOESN’T PAY THAT WHOLE AMOUNT…HE PAY’S HALF BUT UNTIL HE STOPS PAYING THE STATE WILL GO AFTER HIS DRIVERS LICENSE OR ANY STATE REGULATED LICENSE. LIKE BROKERS, REAL STATE LICENSE …YOU KNOW I DID THE SAME THING I LEFT WITH OUT ANYTHING BUT OUR CLOTHING I HAD TO START FOR THE GROUND UP…STAND STRANGE AND DONT LET HIM HAVE THE LAST WORD YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FOR THE KIDS. AND YOU GO BACK AND CONTEST WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE. YOUR NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING …YOU JUST MAY END UP WITH SOMETHING EVEN THOUGH IT SOMETHING RIGHT…BEST OF LUCK…
I WENT THROUGH THIS SOME THING WITH MY EX. MY WIFE, I GOT EVERYTHING IN THE DIVORCE, SHE AGREED ON NO CHILD SUPPORT AND SHARED PRIMARY CARE/CUSTODY. I GOT EVERYTHING INCLUDING THE HOUSE. SHE WANTED OUT SO SHE COULD CONTINUE AN AFFAIR/RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MAN (TUNNEL VISION). WEMAN SEEM TO DO THIS ALOT……I CALL IT TEMPORARY INSANITY…THEY FOCUS ON SOME NEW MAN INSTEAD OF THERE FAMILY.
IF YOU WANTED OUT TO PURSE A NEW MAN, WELL THEN YOU DONT DESERVE ANYTHING. SHOULD HAVE FOCASED ON YOUR FAMILY AS HARD AS YOU FOCASED ON RUINING IT…..SORRY MY OPINION AND EXPERIENCE.
First,the courts just dont award child support because they want to. There has to be justifiable reasons to do so and you probably deserved more than you got but you got it and it was his responsibility to pay it as orderedby the Judge. Now he didnt so he knowingly disobeyed a legalcourt order and now must pay the price for his actions. There is nothing you can ever do for him as he broke the deal with the Judge and not you. He may now be ordered to selloff all his play toys to satisfy his support arrearages and/or possibly face some jail time to think about things
Take all you can get. He said he’d pay, now he’s gonna pay. And bring your estimate for health care. And if the children required any counseling be sure to bring the co payments if you had any.
Hey “bob” he voluntarily agreed to pay child support and health care, and she was being abused.
xxx
]He owes you sweetie every msingle dime including the health ninsuance… Morem men are getting away with this kind of BS.. If you need aawyer and cant afford one you can go to leagal aid… You need a lawyer… You see how he,screed you in the beginning right? Get a lawyer and get you due… Good luck and God bless GrantM in Pennsylvania
You are definitely not wrong for wanting to see him pay, you take everything he’s ordered to pay and celebrate with the kids. My ex (divorced 17 yrs. ago) was ordered to pay and many, many years later after he paid and then he wouldn’t pay, it was a never-ending headache, my daughter is now 23 and he still owes over 50,000.00 in back support. He has never served any jail time (for this) or lost his license. The whole system makes me sick. Seems the employees at Atty. General office don’t know all they need to. I was supposed to file some “motion to enforce” before she turned 18 and I was never told any of this. So much for the State of Texas. As they say, “You Go Girl”!!!!
Take what you can get it.. He made those children too. It is half his responsibility to take care of those children mentally and physically. The sounds of it he can not emotionally support his children… so get what you can out of him to physically support them… Kids are expensive you should not have to do it alone. It is his responsibility.. You deserve it. Your children deserve it and more
You deserve every penny he owes you. Make him ” Show You The Money “
You have to remember you are fighting for your kids, to get what they deserve. Just because you have a new boyfriend, you aren’t a greedy person, or he has a new family, doesn’t change the fact that you kids are depending on you for the support they need to get the life they deserve. Stop feeling guilty
Child support is not about what YOU deserve, but what the kids deserve. Child support is to support the children, it is not money for you! The background of your divirce has nothing to do with child support, he is their father, he must support them. God help you if you decide to take the support and use it for you, PA law will not allow it.
Usually, the states don’t become involved with collecting child support, unless you’ve applied for state or government assistance. Some states do, however, have a system that automatically sets a child support order for review after a specific amount of time.
Without knowing whether or not it was the state that took the initative to collect the support, and why [whether or not you'd applied for any type of assistance], or you decided to take him back to court for a child support review, and why [whether or not it's because he's a new father].
How you feel, or how he feels, really shouldn’t matter. How this affects [affected] your children is what matters. That should be the determining factor on how you should feel. The children are [were] entitled to that money for a reason and, getting that money for them should be your only motive.
Let the state take him for all he’s got. He’s not a worthy father or an honorable man. He’s a prime example of what happens to a person when things become your god.