Q&A: I need to leave my husband but I have no job or money of my own. What can I do?
Question by Miss Informed: I need to leave my husband but I have no job or money of my own. What can I do?
My husband is an alcoholic who refuses treatment. He’s in the military but they don’t know of his problems yet. He’s gotten physical with me, and has shoved me down when I confronted him about drinking, and regularly gets in my face or throws things when angry. We have 2 kids under the age of 4. My husband is an officer in the Air Force, and we live in base housing. We’ve done counseling and he refuses to believe anything they say and says they’re targeting him and make him feel “evil”. I left a while back, but came back when he promised he’d go to counseling and stop drinking. I don’t want to leave without my kids’ beds and some furniture again, because this time will be for good. I have family who lives in South Carolina near Charleston, and I’d like to move to that area, but I know I can’t afford it. I’m afraid he’ll refuse to help out. I don’t have a job or a college education because we had decided I would stay home with the kids until they were in school before pursuing my education and career. Do I have any legal rights?
Best answer:
Answer by Lunaeclipz
Contact your local domestic violence program they can assist you.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Borrow the money from relatives if possible. Or make up your mind that peace of mind and the safety of you and the kids is more important than furniture, and leave.
yes u do sweetie, go and talk to his co, or the chaplin, they frown on ther men being that way, and they will make sure u get ur part of his pay good luck
Talk to your family, see if they can help you move to Charleston and put you up for a short time until you get back on your feet. Consult a solicitor, to find out what your rights are for to receive child support or other financial assistance. There are also many agencies, government and otherwise, who can offer advice and assistance. In this day and age, there is no need or reason to stay with an abusive husband and put up with his misery.
Get yourself and your children to a battered womens shelter. Now. Or call 1-800-799-Safe. They will direct you to the nearest shelter and what step to take to leave safely. Protect yourself and the kids first. Then worry about how to make ends meet later. The shelter will help you with the divorce, your own housing and education. You have many rights. The court won’t let you leave the marriage empty handed.
Stay safe!
You only have legal rights if you file for them. Unless he agrees to separate living arrangements, you have to file for a separation or divorce that stipulates support payments.
You need to make an appointment and see his commander.
Yes, you have plenty of legal rights and his Commander can help to ensure you get those rights, at least as far as the military is concerend.
Do NOT move out (unless there is physical violence then immediately call 911/security police) until you consult with his Commander and a lawyer.
Get a job and then you’ll have your own money.
Tell his commanding officer and get help from battered women’s shelter’s they can help provide you with a place to stay and services.
Can your family meet you with a moving truck and help get you and your kids? First things first, leave with your kids and get away from there. You know it’s been over for a long time and he will not change; maybe never. Don’t let him promise anything anymore; you know he doesn’t keep his promises. Leave the kids with your folks and go back on Monday and go to the court of jurisdiction for a temporary retraining order and file for divorce giving you sole custody of the children. My prayers are with you. Don’t let your children live with this around them or they are doomed to think this is a normal loving relationship. Good Luck
I would talk to the Base Family Support Center/Family Readiness Center and the JAG office.
If you end up getting divorced, as long as he works for the AF, the AF will pay you child support before he gets paid.